Happiness is a matter of dial
I was going to write a post about how much I hate humanity but decided to change my mind’s dial instead.
I’m going to sound like a modern hippie or worse as any girls of that transpire “new era” in their yoga classes and have read so many self-help books that could easily lecture Paulo Coelho. I don’t really care. If anything I am an honest person and although I don’t have the slightest hesitation in letting the entire human kind know (whether they’re interested or not) when I’m possessed (neurosis peak) I have learned, the hard way, that we are the direct result of our thoughts- you and I, and all others are the result of the immense power of the mind.
Before the rational chicas go ballistic on me and say it is a nonsense to assume that a child dies of malnutrition in Africa (or closer in Latin America) because of his thoughts I should clarify that I’m not saying that the absolute master of life is the blissful law of attraction. Of course there are thousands of factors beyond our control that affect our life, but even how we react to these factors gives our story very different results.
I used to be quite pessimistic and responded to any criticism about with “what I am is realistic.” Okay, well that was some pretty dark way I had of seeing the world. All it took was for someone to call me ugly at school for me to sink into a black hole of self-pity and melancholy. Two psychiatrists, three psychologists and years of therapy later no one has yet declared me as depressed. Of course I blame Barbie for feeling that had an inadequate hair, of course my religious grandmother and my lack of baptism made me believe that would burn in hell since I was 5 years old, of course that not fitting into almost any of the standards of what is supposed to be “a latina” made me feel out of tune, but in the end what has prevailed over everything is the way I see and believe.
Last night the corporate world made me remember why I’m longing to leave it as soon as possible: the constant movement of influences and preferences, talented people being fired and replaced by others who are closer to the heart of the head people. I was about to lose one of my gigs as a copy writer because the girl that I report to decided to go on vacation, changed the dates and blamed me for her own disorganization.
“Everything will be fine, bonita, you are going to LA and. You will see you will make connections with nice people who will help you in your process,” said Mr. Felipe, the beautiful Dutch that a couple of months ago stole the heart. I shrugged my shoulders and decided to hang on to my inner Grinch for a bit longer.
This morning I got on the train and decided to write a post about how much I hated the planet earth and the corporate world. Suddenly the voice of reason, a mixture of Mr. Felipe and the sweetness in Trilce, asked me “Do you really hate mankind?” Well no, not really. “Do you hate the corporate world?” No, not so much either. Humanity gives me hope every time I see a smile or a rightful act. It also gives me the strength to fight every time I read stories like the Chilean girl who is asking her government to authorize euthanasia because no one has cared to donate the organs she needs to live a painless life. The corporate world is one of the things I would love to change, but I don’t hate it. Even when I want to get out of it with all my strength I am also aware that it has given me great deal of experience and it pays my bills. So, what does one do? Says thank you and moves forward.
And then I change the dial of my mind: I have over a hundred reasons to be grateful, starting with the simple act of breathing; I am indeed going to the We All Grow Latina Bloggers Connect Summit in LA this weekend, I am not there yet and I have connected with several girls with a beautiful energy. I thought the email of the thank you email I was going to write to the company that hired me for the freelance gig. Then the girl beat me to it, she sent emailed me an apology and asked if we could revise the deadlines. I released from my mind the idea of the plots of the past, which made me revisit a place I wish to see no longer. I smiled.
The power of the mind, not the one that brings million dollar mansions with an act of desire, but the one that lets you be present, see and be thankful for the millions you already have: your family, your voice, your hands, your ability to breath. That is the most fertile ground to harvest happiness and achievement.