Hello chicas and welcome to Ella y Su Sexo! I’m Trilce Ortiz and this is my space so that after centuries of repression, ignorance and poor sex education we finally dare to openly talk about sex, love and broken hearts.
Let’s get something straight: I am not a sex therapist, nor a psychologist. I’m a journalist and broadcaster. I write since I was little and have worked in media for 9 years. What I really like to do is talk, openly and calling things by their name- sin pelos en la lengua. For some, still, unknown reason to me, both strangers and friends come to me for advice and generally I have always something to tell them. The knowledge I have partially comes from books and research but mostly it reflects my own experiences, and those of mi ma, aunts, amigas and multitude of women who have crossed my path at some point.
I am very passionate about the topic of sex and romantic relationships – after all, what is a world without love and passion? – I believe these topics have been poorly researched when it comes to women. This is where my title of sexpert comes from: I am a person who knows about sex. I started Ella y Su Sexo in 2012 as a space for women to chat, learn, ask questions (send me your comments and questions here) and laughed about sex and relationship related topics. I don’t hold universal knowledge, but learn from you ladies every day.
I started writing professionally about sex, relationships and self love while working for Siempre Mujer magazine’s web site. It was there I started to realize the need and importance of having a spot for us women to talk about sex and emotions in an open, informed and non-judgmental atmosphere. My columns have also appeared in La Voz Hispana Newspaper, Mundo Latino magazine and between 2013 and 2014 I led “Ellas hablan de sexo” a Spanish talk show about sex for women in ErogenaFM. Currently I work as the Senior digital editor of NYC based ChicaFresh.com (Check all my Spanish sex talk videos for the site here.)
If someone I can dedicate this space is mi mamá, I honestly believe I have been very fortunate to have her. I was born in Colombia, an essentially Catholic country, where talking about sex is still consider a sin for most, but not in my house, not in my little family. I remember I was about 12 when my mom gave me La Menstruación (Menstruation), a book with multicolored hearts cover, written by five authors. In the 96 pages of this text I learned not only the biological processes I was to look forward to as a woman, but also the psychological impact my period will have in my life. Surprisingly I ended up answering questions about menstruation to many of my friends, older than me in many cases.
Two years later I was socked to get a “light” version of the Great Book of sex from my mother. By Anne Hooper this was not a book that explained sex with illustrations of bees and demure terminology. With full-color photographs, the text showed various sexual poses, talked about orgasm and highlighted the importance of both people involved in sex to feel comfortable in order to experience pleasure. The book remained with me as a reference material for several years. So yeah, GRACIAS MOM.
The collective presumptions are: you learn about sex in bed and about love by experience. But would not it be more interesting, productive and pleasurable getting between the sheets with an idea of what we like? And likewise face the –insane-universe of dating knowing what we want and want to get from a potential partner or a summer fling? While it is true that practice makes perfect, my own life experiences I have made it clear that women want to talk about sex and love, we want to learn about eroticism, we care about our partner’s and our own pleasure, we crave healthy love, want to learn cómo conquistar and we hardly ever have someone to talk about all of this.
Abuelas don’t talk to us about sex, moms hardly share fractions of their own experiences, sex ed fills our brain with figures and images and educational videos from decades ago, friends listen and advise us, but often their experiences and knowledge levels our own. Ella y Su Sexo comes from my desire to talk to women (and men) as I have done for years with my friends, as my mom did with me and how I feel that many of us would like to converse. Since I started my collaborations on sex and relationships column for the magazine’s web where I work, I realized that not only is there a genuine interest on the topics I write about, but the information about them available online is very limited and poorly offered. Este es nuestro espacio, let’s talk self-love, relationships and sex!
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